


Jagged Memory

by Kris_krisser



Category: The Magnificent Seven (TV)
Genre: First Time, M/M, Old West
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2000-06-03
Updated: 2000-06-03
Packaged: 2017-12-05 19:34:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/727126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kris_krisser/pseuds/Kris_krisser
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ezra won't turn on his friends.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Jagged Memory

**Author's Note:**

> There is a rape warning.
> 
> Thanks to my beta Judy
> 
> Thanks to Jesse Thomas for all her help and encouragement.

** Jagged Memory **

**by Krisser**

 

 

Chris Larabee heard the noise for the second time. He silently moved across the room of his shack and took his gun out of its holster as he crept silently to the door. He opened it slowly and pushed it wide, standing off to the side.

No shots sounded.

He stepped soundlessly out into the night. A sliver of the moon gave just enough light for furtive movement. He crept around to the back of his place. Forty feet away, his eyes locked on to a sight that was as far away from anything he had ever contemplated. A naked and bleeding Ezra.

Ezra’s wild stare locked onto Chris Larabee. The one man he had been searching for. The only person his terror filled mind allowed as a friend.

“Chris………help.” Ezra collapsed, his mind knowing that help was near, took the man into unconsciousness to forget.

\------------

Vin felt betrayed on so many levels. Ezra was a fellow peacekeeper. He was a trusted friend. Why would he knock him out and leave him tied up in a cave.

The worst betrayal, Vin thought was the deeper emotions that he’d always try to ignore, feelings that at times threatened to overwhelm him in their intensity. Every time he would convince himself that he was past it all, he’d be trapped in a gaze of emerald gems, that for a second, would allow access to a soul so tender and kind, Vin knew it was useless. He was trapped forever by a single glimpse.

So that made this treachery all the more appalling. He could no longer trust his own feelings. No longer could he trust the gambler, no longer trust his own heart. Vin headed back to the livery and resaddled Peso and rode out of town. Needing the calm influence of the wilderness, he chose a direction that took him nowhere near anything he knew.

\------------

Chris was horrified by the amount of blood that was everywhere on the gambler. He picked him up anyway and carried him into the house. He kicked his blankets off his bed and laid him on the sheet. He felt for his pulse and was relieved to find one. The gunslinger looked down at the tortured body. Gashes, cuts and bruising, along with fresh blood, were everywhere. He had to get Nathan. 

Chris went to his wash bowl to clean his hands and then put on a clean shirt. He was putting on his gunbelt when he heard Ezra cry out. He went to his side and brushed his hair out of his mouth, “I’ll get help, hang in there.” He got up and turned to finish dressing.

“No one. Promise. No one must know. No one, please Chris.” Ezra spoke the words in desperation.

Chris looked back at the anxious, terror filled eyes. They pleaded with him, Chris had no choice but to comply. “Promise.” He moved closer to the wounded man. “You need Nathan.”

“No……….no one. Put me in a tub of water. It can be cold.” The voice was stern and defeated at the same time. 

“I’ll warm the water, Ez. Just hang on.” He got a couple of pots and went outside for water. He put them straight on the wood burning stove and stoked the fire. As they were warming, he dragged the tub in to his dwelling. He fetched a pot of water and poured it directly into the tub, and repeated for a second pot of water. The cooked water combined with the cold should make it comfortable for Ezra to lie in. He knew in his gut that Nathan should be out here, but he wasn’t going to break his word to Ezra. He was afraid that the gambler would just leave on him, and he knew that he was severely injured. He didn’t know all the wheres just yet, but all that blood meant something.

He lifted the injured man and gently deposited him into the water. Ezra yelped and moaned, but when asked what was wrong, Ezra had replied nothing.

Ezra soaked in the water, once he was used to it, he began to enjoy it and then the memories set in and the shame and he let his head sink below the water line. 

Chris walked in and couldn’t see Ezra, he searched about the room then looked in the tub, “Hell,” he gabbed Ezra and pulled his face out of the water. He pushed on his stomach. The intense pain forced the water from his throat and mouth and the conman started coughing. That was fine with Chris, at least he was alive. When Ezra started shivering, Chris wrapped a towel around Ezra’s shoulders and hauled him out laying on the clean bed.

Ezra rolled onto his stomach and the towel pulled up and Chris was able to see some of the injuries. Chris was appalled and furious.

His rear looked like a woodpecker home, actual holes. The anus was ravaged, torn and cut, and Chris looked just a bit closer, “Oh lord,” he said aloud, splinters. The imagined agony was enough to make Chris’ stomach muscles spasm in empathy. Nathan. He had to get Ezra to allow him here. All this was sure to become infected, and Chris knew he couldn’t take care of it. He didn’t want Ezra to die. 

Chris heated some coffee, then set about drying Ezra’s hair. He laid a dry towel across the gambler’s back as it was still seeping blood. Chris suspected that his front side had similar puncture holes. He tried to get Ezra’s attention. “Ezra, Ezra, I need you to answer me.”

Ezra moaned, “Drink, some whiskey please.”

Chris obliged, figuring it might help with the pain. He knew that the conman was in pain, regardless if he showed it or not. “Ez, we gotta get Nathan……we”

“No one, you promised.” Ezra voice was desperate. Eyes terror-filled.

“Okay, but if you go into fever, I will get him. I’ll swear him to secrecy, but I can’t let you die. You’re my friend.” Chris told him. He thought that Ezra nodded. 

\-------

It was late the next day that Chris found himself in town, heading for Nathan’s. JD rushed up to him. “Chris, Ezra’s missing. His horse is here but he hasn’t been around for almost three days. Vin was gone then he was here, now he’s gone again. He came in on Chaucer.” JD was talking to him the whole time he was walking to Nathan’s. 

“Not now, JD.” Chris hadn’t actually heard any of JD’s ramblings. He shut JD out of the office.

To Nathan he said, “I need you to come out to my place now, with all the stuff for lots of injuries. Please.”

Nathan was practically speechless, Chris saying please. He truly looked worried. “Okay, Chris let me gather what I need.”

“’Specially stuff for infection and pain.” Chris said thank you with his eyes. Chris went ahead and saddled Nathan’s horse. He rode them back to Nathan’s just as he was coming down the stairs. He jumped on and the two left town without a word.

They were about half way to Chris’ when Nathan asked, “You gonna tell me about it?” Nathan grew more concerned at Chris’ expression.

“He’ll make you promise not to tell.”

“Not a problem.” Nathan could keep quiet.

“It’s Ezra. Nathan, I think he was………taken.” Chris found he didn’t want to say it aloud, like then it’d be too real.

“Forcibly? Raped?” Nathan sucked in his breath at Chris’ nod.

They rode the rest of the way in silence.

Nathan found it hard to hide his horrified expression as he looked down on Ezra. Battered face, discoloration beginning on his chest and back, rope burns on his wrists and ankles. Nathan nearly gagged, rope burns on his penis, it brought back bad memories from his time as a slave. The gouges, the torn, ripped and cut hole, and the splinters, what was done? And the pain, Nathan was more than horrified, he felt sick down to his heart. This man might be misguided in some of his ways, but this was barbaric. The road to recovery will hurt worse than this torture on occasion.

Nathan wiped his face with his hands, then changed his mind set to save this man.

Chris looked as Nathan checked Ezra, and had to turn away, tears formed. The gunslinger knew that the conman conned most into believing that he was aloof, but in actuality, he was much more sensitive that most would ever know, and Chris was afraid that they may never get ‘their’ gambler back again.

Two hours later, Nathan washed more of the gambler’s blood from his hands, the small holes finally taken care of.

“Nathan, here, take a short break,” Chris handed him a fresh cup of coffee. 

“Could use Vin’s swill about now, it’d keep me awake for days.” Nathan sat and sipped the brew. “Chris, I’m gonna need ether, no way Ezra can be awake for working on them splinters. And if he thrashes, …… well it could get a whole lot worse.” Chris nodded. Nathan asked, “I want to keep working on the gashes, could you go in and get it. I’m not sure my face could remain plain enough.”

Chris nodded again, “Make me a list.”

\--------

Chris got back into town after dark, got the supplies that Nathan needed, then knocked on Miss Millie’s room, taking a gamble that Buck was reacquainting himself with her.

A muffled, “Yes?”

“Is Buck around?” He asked.

A little scuffling and Buck stepped out, a bit disheveled. “Chris? Some emergency?”

“No, you’re in charge for a few days, have to take care of a problem.”

“With Nathan?” Buck responded seriously.

Chris nodded.

“Something I should know about,” his tone indicating that he thought it was.

“Not now, maybe later.”

Buck turned his head, really looking at his friend. Pain, but not Sarah, not this time. Buck nodded, “Okay, pard. If you need me, I’m here.”

“Thanks, Buck.” Chris headed to his horse and out of town.

\-----------

Nathan came out the make-shift porch and sat down defeatedly. Larabee looked over at the healer’s face and asked anxiously, “He’s not?….”

“No, …..but Chris……..oh god, ……Chris, I think a tree branch was shoved up and it punctured the end, he’s been bleeding from there too. “ Nathan paused, he needed sleep, “At some point here, he’s gonna defecate and it needs to be washed out right away, or the chance of infection goes up past dangerous. I’m gonna need your help, can you do it?”

“Yes.”

“I,” his voice broke some, “I’m not sure he’s gonna make it. Chris, this is some of the worst I ever seen.”

The gunslinger raised his brows, “You’ve seen this before?”

Nathan nodded, “On the plantation, and during the war. Soldiers from both sides raped prisoners. Some didn’t recover from the injuries, some never recovered from the anguish.” Both men sighed.

\---------

Vin rode back into town as the sun crested the mountains. He was ready to ask why without killing him first. He brushed down Peso before he made his way to the saloon. He sat outside waiting. 

JD rushed over to him an hour later. “Gosh, it’s good to see you Vin.” JD smiled, then a frown replaced his grin, “Have you seen Ezra?”

“No.” Vin’s face scrunched at the name.

JD sat down hard, “Well, damm. I was hoping you had.”

“Why?” With a hard voice.

“No one seen him since Sunday morning. Vin, it’s Wednesday, and his horse is still here.” JD was frustrated that no one seemed concerned.

“Ya check his room?” Vin asked, his voice even, no longer hard.

“Nothing, and no clothes are gone and his bags are there.” JD thought that Vin was paying attention now.

Vin was, he was concerned. “You checked with everyone?”

“Well, Chris only came to get Nathan, someone on the road. Tried to talk to him, but he wasn’t listening.”

Vin thought a minute. ‘Ezra hadn’t been seen since he put me in that cave. I rode Chaucer back and Peso wandered in a little after me.’ Vin looked at JD, he seemed awful worried. “JD, saddle up, let’s track’em.”

JD was already up and headed for the stable.

Vin lead JD out to the cave that Ezra had left him in. Though JD didn’t know this. The hurt was stronger than the anger now, but he needed answers and finding Ezra was the only way to get them. He was hoping that the trail would lead them to Eagle Bend, and that Ezra had just used a different mount than Chaucer for some reason. But on a gut level, Vin knew it wasn’t that simple.

Vin found Chaucer’s tracks, that was the horse that he had use to get back to town. He found Peso’s tracks, they led away from the cave and Four Corners. JD watched in fascination as Vin would touch the track, gently blowing, looking for the story the dirt would tell. Vin became concerned when he saw Peso’s track’s head back the way they came, but without the weight of a rider. Vin dismounted and started searching the area in earnest. He sucked in his breath when he found the blood. Too much blood for his piece of mind. But what scared him the shit out of him was a red jacket. Ezra’s red jacket. He found his vest and shirt, but they were shredded as though a knife had cut through them. Vin stood still, his back to JD. He couldn’t let JD see the emotion at this discovery. Ezra. What in the hell happened to Ezra? Would the answer destroy him? It would if Ezra was dead. Vin masked it all as he turned around.

He handed JD the jacket and shirt. JD’s brown eyes grew as large as the eyes of a hunted doe. “Vin? Is he….”

“Don’t know JD.” Vin answered honestly.

Catching something out of the corner of his eye, Vin sent JD the other way. He approached the rock face carefully, and what he saw made him nauseous. Several sticks with blood on them and a branch, as thick as his arm with blood and skin on it. Vin didn’t want all the possibilities running through his head, let alone JD’s. JD didn’t need to see this. 

He followed the blood and saw the stakes. Rope with blood still attached, and enough blood for Vin to know that this was the site. Vin muttered to himself, “Please let it be someone other than Ezra.” But he was afraid. The blood did lead away, but not in a straight line. More as though a drunk person was walking. He called for JD and they followed the trail.

Two hours later, Vin knew where they were headed. The trail was round-about, as though he didn’t want to be followed, but the continual blood drips made it easy. They were headed to Chris’ shack. Vin was afraid of what he might find.

\-------

Nathan kept Ezra under as he cleaned everything he could. He stitched the tears and cuts at the opening, he cleaned them and didn’t want them to get infected. Chris tried to remain impassive as he helped, but the extent of the damage, was more than a man wanted to see.

“Chris, we’re gonna have to get him to talk about this or he will never recover.” Nathan said as they let the man sleep.

“You know how hard it is already for him to tells us how he feels, even if it’s just a cold.” Chris returned.

“Maybe Josiah…” Nathan started.

“I promised that I wouldn’t tell, you can’t either. He’ll leave, just as he is, and I believe him. This is just us.” Chris Larabee’s expression was adamant and Nathan knew he wouldn’t go against it.

\-------

Ezra didn’t want to open his eyes, he was afraid it would hurt too. It seemed that the act of breathing was painful. As he laid there, he tried to remember where he was and why did he hurt. He heard voices in the next room and fear coursed through his body. No people. Memories flooded his mind and he screamed in anguish.

The cries had Chris burst into the room with Nathan right behind him. Chris knelt down and touched his shoulder and Ezra flinched. Chris spoke to him softly, “Ezra, it’s Chris, it’s okay now, you’re safe.”

Ezra kept his eyes closed, he didn’t want to see the disgust in his eyes. Nathan would have told him what happened, and that he let it. He tuned out all the words and let the dark take him back.

Nathan checked him and turned to Chris, “He’s asleep, best thing for him.” 

Chris held up his hand for Nathan to be silent. He pointed outside and to his ear. The gunslinger picked up his gun and went to the door. He opened it, but didn’t stand in front. No shots, just a voice. “Tanner and JD here.”

Chris looked back at Nathan, then stepped outside. He looked into Tanner’s face and he could see that he somehow already knew what had happened. Vin looked at him then shifted his gaze to JD and hoped Chris understood.

Apparently he did, “JD, I need you to ride into town and back up Buck.”

“But what about Ezra? We found….” JD was cut off.

“Ezra is here, but that goes no further. Understood.” Chris’ eyes drilled into JD.

JD nodded, and looked to Vin, who also nodded. He turned and headed for town.

Vin waited for JD to be out of sight before he said a thing. “You got Ezra.” The tracker didn’t ask, he was stating what he knew. Chris nodded. “I found where it happened.” Chris’ eyes turned to the direction that JD had used. Vin answered the frantic non question. “JD didn’t see anything but the jacket and ripped shirt. …..I want to see him.”

The man in black shook his head. “Nobody right now.”

“Chris, he knocked me out, tied me up and left me that way in a cave.” Vin stated baldly.

Larabee cocked his head to the side, “How you get out?”

“There was an opened knife lying where my hands could reach it.” Vin replied.

“How’d you get back?” Chris knew some of this, Ezra talked in his sleep.

“Chaucer.”

“Not too convenient for you?” Chris asked.

“Yea, well, I need to know why. I really need to know.” Vin said. Completely serious.

“Can’t, promised.” Chris rubbed his face, and sat wearily on the step.

“Well, I ain’t leaving. I’ll jus camp out here. I know something bad happened. I ain’t leaving.” Vin had the tenacity of a badger. He was there to stay. What he felt for the man wasn’t going away. He knew he had to deal with this.

Chris nodded. The pain in Vin’s eyes was liquid. This was more than personal, but Chris didn’t have the energy to puzzle it out.

Nathan needed to work on the front of Ezra. The gashes and holes were deep, they had to be cleaned out good. And the penis, Nathan shook his head, he hoped that it didn’t become infected, and if it did, then Ezra better be out of it. The man would have a difficult time with the indignity. Nathan wasn’t sure that he could survive the humiliation of the offensive act. 

No one knows what they can survive until they do.

An hour later, Nathan yelled for Chris. Chris gave Vin a stare that kept him where he was. Chris ran into the house.

The smell alerted him to the help Nathan needed. He took the soiled bedding and threw it out back. He brought in more water and washed Ezra gently. The gunslinger left the other pail for Nathan as he took out all the rags that Nathan had used. 

Nathan worked diligently within the canal. The puncture at the top of the canal could allow all sorts of infection into the body. He needed to keep it clean until a scab formed. The splinters were already forming pus, but Nathan could only dig in so far. The agony awaiting this man will be some of the worst of his life.

Chris came back and checked with Nathan if he could do more. “Not right now, Chris. Tomorrow we will have to do most of this again.”

“Get some rest, Nathan. I’ll sit with him.” Chris took the chair and moved it closer to the bed, resting his feet on the base board. 

Nathan nodded and left. He found a bedroll all made up for him on the porch. He looked over at Vin lying on the ground, watching him. Didn’t ask any questions, didn’t say anything at all, just watched him. He bet that Vin would be surprised if he told him he knew. Nathan had to watch people, some of his patients were less than truthful as to their conditions. So he had seen some of the looks Vin had bestowed on the gambler. Looks the gambler had not noticed, which was almost funny, for the conman has been casting some soulful looks at the tracker, which he had never seen. Nathan was quite sure that no one else suspected. Oddly, JD would be the other most likely to figure it out, but he just couldn’t put the pieces together.

Nathan fell asleep with a slight smile.

The screams woke everyone but the screamer. 

“VIN…………..VIN…………VIN…………RUN…….” Ezra was screaming and sobbing, his hands moving sporadically, clenching and unclenching his fists. “NOOO!”

Vin beat Nathan into the shack, he was kneeling beside the injured man, petting his head, whispering, “Vin’s safe. You saved him. He’s fine. He’s fine.” Tears glistened in his eyes as he saw the condition that Ezra’s body was in. 

Ezra’s eyes weren’t seeing the here and now, he was caught in the delirium of the fever. “You can’t have Vin……… He’s gone ………he’s safe.” Laughter exploded first then changed to the screams. Screams of terror. Agonizing sounds that had the three men nauseous in what had actually caused them.

Tears fell freely from Vin’s eyes. Somehow, being tied up in that cave has something to do with this, and Ezra is this way because of it. He laid his head on Ezra’s head, murmuring, “Vin’s safe, Vin’s safe.”

Chris and Nathan stood there, faces wet, their friends in torment.

\---------

Over the next five days, the fever persisted, delirium induced dreams kept all from sleeping well. Chris heard things that no person should imagine, let alone experience. He wasn’t sure how Ezra would make it through. It has become obvious to him that Vin had a different kind of feeling for Ezra. But the look he gave would let all know that he won’t tolerate anyone messing with him. Chris, Nathan and Vin did discover that Ezra believed that Vin was still in danger. That he basically offered himself so he could keep them off the scent of Vin. Ezra also begged to die. That some of the damage inflicted, Ezra had wanted death instead. At those revelations, Vin had a difficult time, usually puking his guts out.

Vin helped tend Ezra through all this. Told Chris he didn’t have to tell Ezra, but he had to help. Had to be there. Chris and Nathan appreciated the help.

Vin would reassure him whenever he whimpered. Vin received confirmation that Ezra loved him, but the road ahead would not be easy. That Ezra didn’t want Vin to know, came out in the many ramblings. Chris would give Vin a look that would say, we’ll take it day by day.

On the sixth day of Vin’s caretaking, the fever broke. Vin knew he had to remain outside for awhile. Hopefully, Ezra would allow him back.

Nathan had been rather grateful for the fever, they could clean the wounds without Ezra feeling the worst of it. Most of the splinters were out and healing. The cut and gashes, while healing, were still able to cause great pain.

Ezra opened his eyes to see Nathan tending him and Chris near by. Unfortunately, the conman remembered pretty much everything up to getting to Chris’ place. After that, one memory of waking up and a lot of bad dreams. The pain was pretty bad, but he needed it as a reminder how he was different now. It would be best not to forget.

The gambler’s green eyes locked onto Chris. Never leaving him as Nathan cleaned places no man should allow a friend to care for.

Chris looked into the gaze that was finally awake, and genuinely smiled. “Glad to have you back, Ezra, scared us real bad there for a while.”

Ezra closed his eyes, not deserving of the caring that rested there. He fell asleep again.

“Nathan?” Chris asked, concern returning to his voice.

“Just sleeping, he’s just asleep.” Nathan assured Chris. Chris stepped outside to let Vin know.

\--------

Ezra ate when Nathan brought in soup. He drank the foul liquid the Nathan made. He drank the coffee that Chris gave him. On his third day awake, Ezra spoke more than yes or no, “May I take a bath?” He asked of Nathan.

Nathan sat in the chair next to the bed, “If you can wait ‘till tomorrow, some of the stitches will be ready to come out and we can loosen those too. Can you wait ‘till then?” Ezra nodded his head. Those were the last words that the gambler spoke all day.

His thoughts continued, he was sullied. Spoiled and damaged goods. His dreams of a future with Vin were gone. The only good that he had left in his life was that Vin was saved. But he had to keep him that way. He knew he must tell Chris. 

\-------------

“Ezra, ya gotta get up and walk around. You can take another bath if you walk the room just once.” Nathan was practically begging. Usually he would have to sit on Ezra to stay down long enough. But this time, Ezra hasn’t complained or asked for anything, including a deck of cards. The bath seemed to be the only thing the gambler would ask for. 

With Nathan’s help, Ezra sat up and swung his legs off the bed. As he tried to place them on the floor, every cut, rip, and gouge twisted and tweaked and Ezra couldn’t stop the loud yelp of pain. Chris and Vin were inside the shack before the sound left the air.

Ezra’s eyes widened in shock as he saw Vin. Vin made eye contact and caught an inscrutable expression, the unexpected starkness in the lack-luster eyes made his heart constrict. Pain. A terrible, terrible aloneness, and shame. Vin’s heart ached for the green eyed man, for that bleak look did awful things to his heart.

Then the mask replaced all emotion, and Ezra looked past Vin, past Chris that stood behind, and took a step forward. If he registered any pain, he did not show it in his gait, and his face showed absolutely nothing. But his eyes weren’t available to read as he kept his eyes averted and down the entire time.

He forced all thought from his mind as he walked around the inside of the shack. He would not show that he was in pain. It was the only thing he had to help keep memories at bay. The pain required that he think of nothing else, or he wouldn’t be able to mask it. He was lucky then, for the pain was excruciating. He walked back to Nathan. 

“How was that? How much pain?” Nathan asked, knowing there was pain, upset that his patient was masking it.

“I am fine. I would like a bath.” Ezra asked with his head down.

Chris signaled Vin and they went to fetch the water.

Nathan helped Ezra off with the robe he was wearing. Softly Nathan asked, “Ezra, please tell me how bad the pain is. Maybe there is something more I can do.”

“You’ve done more than you should have had to. There is nothing any one can do now. It’s already been done.” Ezra told him, using more words then than he had in ten days.

Ezra stood behind the partition that Nathan put up so he could check the stitches. They could hear Chris setting the pails of water on the stove to heat. Then he left again to get more.

Nathan said softly to Ezra’s back, “I know you are embarrassed that I know and see all this. One, I will not speak of this to anyone. You have my word. Two, Ezra, I have seen this and dealt with it before on those I didn’t care about. You are my friend, all I want to do is to continue to help you improve. I can only do this by checking, make sure that infection can not set in. Hopefully later, we can talk about all that happened,” Nathan could tell from Ezra’s body language, that was not going to happen. “If not, I hope at some point you can. I will be here if ever you want to.”

Ezra listened, but did not comment, but didn’t fight the healer checking all the wounds. 

By the time Nathan was completed, the bath water was done and Nathan helped him in. Chris came in and traded places with Nathan. Chris picked up wash cloth and soaped it, aloud he said, “I’m gonna wash your back now.” That stopped the conman from almost jumping out of his skin. Chris had done this each time Ezra had taken a bath. He had been afraid that Ezra would try to rub his skin raw, in hopes of losing that dirty feeling that he has. The gambler wanted to remove the feel and smell and bad taste in his mouth, but it only rested in his mind now and he hadn’t come to terms yet.

Ezra asked lowly, “How long has he been out there?”

“Since the forth day. He tracked ya here. He heard the screams. He’s been camping outside. Ezra, I haven’t told anything. He just won’t leave.” Chris looked Ezra in the eye, he need him to believe.

“Vin may still be in danger.” Ezra told him after he broke eye contact. 

Instead of telling the conman that he knew, he played dumb, “Why?”

Hands clenched in the water, Ezra looked at the ceiling as he said, “The men that did this, will try to get Vin. Use opiates to enslave him.” His voice was held fear. “Keep him safe, Chris.” The gambler asked, almost begging.

Chris nodded his head ‘till the lump in his throat cleared. “I will.”

\---------

Ezra knew that Chris and Nathan had to get back to town, but they wouldn’t leave him out here. He knew it was time to try, to go back into town. Chris kept saying that nothing’s changed, but what else was Chris suppose to say. He saw Nathan’s eyes daily, he’d seen Vin’s eyes, they could never see him any other way but soiled, used, worthless.

How could he continue as a peacekeeper. He wasn’t good enough to associate with them, he wasn’t good enough anymore. They would have to pretend, but the day would come when they couldn’t pretend anymore. He was part of the scum now, not a person that someone would want to have save or help them. He would need to leave, not have aspersions cast on men he had called friends.

The conman schooled his face as he looked up to Chris, “Yes, it is time to return to town. I will continue to hold you to your promise for a while longer.”

Chris nodded, recognizing what it cost the gambler to ask.

\--------

Ezra was disappointed, he really expected to feel better back among his own things, within his room. He avoided the mirror, the bruising on his face and neck were still quite visible. He was able to cover the rest of his body. The visual evidence was also a reminder of his different standing and situation now. He had changed, everything had changed. The bile ran up his throat as the memories threatened and he forced them away. Aloud, he said, “I must go down and get on with my life. I can do it.” He figured if said it aloud, it would be easier. It wasn’t.

He checked his sleeve gun and made sure that his sleeves would cover his wrists, even in a bent position. He took a deep breath and went down stairs. Slowly. 

Vin, Chris and Nathan were sitting at a table, drinking coffee, waiting, hoping, that Ezra would join them for breakfast. They watched him slowly negotiate the stairs, masking the pain he was feeling. Nathan pushed out a chair as an invitation. Ezra, already self conscious, took it to avoid any unnecessary conversation.

Inez brought a cup of coffee and placed it front of the gambler. Her eyes flew to Nathan, but he gave her a slight shake of the head. No questions. All she said was, “nice to have you back Ezra.”

Ezra inclined his head once, saying nothing, not meeting her eyes. 

She asked, “Do you wish something to eat Señor?”

“No thank you. Just coffee,” was the gambler’s reply, still without lifting his head.

Buck and JD entered the saloon and bee lined straight for the table. “God, it’s good to see you, Ezra.” JD said, beaming. “How are you?”

“Fine, thank you.” Ezra managed that, then took a long time with a sip of coffee.

“JD, what’s been happening?” Chris asked, trying to deflect conversation away from Ezra. 

Buck looked at Ezra, knowing something wasn’t right, but said nothing.

All the men let JD ramble, filling them in on a mild week in Four Corners.

After Ezra finished his coffee, he got up and excused himself. He walked outside into the sunshine, his goal to check on Chaucer. He brushed her and slipped her some sugar cubes, content for the first time in weeks. But he knew that he couldn’t stay here all day. He started back to the saloon and then a feeling washed over him as a shadow crossed his path, pure panic. He spun around and as quickly as he could, jumped back, only to see the figure of Josiah. 

He nodded and planned to continue past when Josiah’s voice stopped him. “Took a beating, huh? Something you’d deserved from one of your card games, huh Ezra?”

A wretched look of self loathing and disgust settled in the green eyes. “Yes, Josiah, I deserved it.” Ezra replied very meekly and walked away, head down, convinced that now everyone could tell that he was worthless and had deserved the attack.

Nathan had been standing to the side and overheard part of the exchange. He watched sadly as Ezra walked defeatedly back to the saloon. He looked to Josiah with a venomous glance.

Josiah responded to the glance with, “What? What did I do?” But Nathan was bound by his promise and could not explain how Josiah’s comment ripped the threads of Ezra’s healing.

The six peacekeepers didn’t see Ezra the rest of the day. 

Nathan knocked on his door that evening, exclaiming, “It’s Nathan.” He entered at Ezra’s beckoning.

“Have some sleeping draught for you. I’m afraid that with all that walking, you may experience a great deal of pain. This will help.” Nathan made eye contact and it was easy to read the self loathing in the conman’s eyes. Nathan wished he could help, he patted his patient on the shoulder and didn’t miss the flinch at his touch. He closed the door behind him as he left. Nathan saw out of the corner of his eye, Vin, standing in the dark. He knew Vin would watch over him tonight.

\----------------

The days became a carbon copy of the one before. Ezra would come down in the morning, drink some coffee, and play a game of solitaire. Walk over to brush Chaucer and return. He never engaged in conversations, didn’t watch the people, never ventured out of the saloon after dark. Each night Nathan would give the gambler something to drink to help him sleep and Vin would stand guard at the door. 

Vin would burst into the room when the screams got loud. He would hold and rock the gambler that was trapped inside his nightmare and reassure him that Vin was alive, that Vin was safe. That he saved Vin. And Vin knew that Ezra really had saved him. Tied up in the cave was just to them from finding him. He sure hoped he would get the chance to make it up to him.

Ezra was never aware of Vin’s presence, instead he was locked inside a nightmare in the drug induced sleep. No external comfort could penetrate the horrors he relived nightly. Vin would leave after he fell into a dreamless slumber.

On the fifth night, Vin came out to discover Buck on the landing, waiting for him. “Don’t seem to be getting any better?”

A drawn and tired Vin shook his head no.

Buck looked closely at this friend and said softly, “Pard, you look like a walking dead man.” Buck handed him a key, “My key, go get some sleep. I’ll stay. I’ll keep watch. I don’t think his demons will return tonight, but if they do, I’ll be there.” Vin looked up at brown eyes that shared the anguish as he did. “I’ve heard the nightmares. I’ve seen the way he acts. I know. He’ll be okay tonight, go rest.”

Vin nodded and dropped his hand on Buck’s shoulder as his eyes said thank you. He walked down the hall and unlocked Buck’s door. 

\----------

Nathan watched as Vin finished breakfast, he wanted to catch him before he left for the day. Vin kept bringing the food to his mouth, with the express desire of staying at the table the entire time that Ezra was there. The haunted, terrified expression never left the gambler’s eyes. He hardly, if ever made eye contact with anyone. Vin couldn’t reach him. Vin hurt so much with the fear that he would never, ever be able to hold Ezra while he was awake. He was afraid that the sparkle and magic of those green eyes would be forever lost. 

The tracker watched as Ezra put down his coffee cup and left the saloon to tend Chaucer. Sad blue eyes followed him until he was out of sight.

Nathan saw his opportunity and he put his hand out and touched the tracker’s sleeve. Vin turned and looked at Nathan and for a trace moment, Nathan saw an intense pain staring out, then it was gone. The odd thought of how alike that Vin and Ezra were struck him sharply at that moment.

“Vin, I need to speak with you. Upstairs?” Nathan asked.

Vin looked blankly, then nodded. He followed Nathan up the stairs to his place. Vin sat down and looked over at the healer. Nathan took a deep breath and hoped that Vin wouldn’t shoot him. 

“Vin, I know that you have strong feelings for Ezra.” Nathan sat back in his chair at the glare Vin threw his way. “It don’t matter to me, who you love. But I gotta talk to you ‘bout Ezra.”

All worries on Nathan’s knowing fled as Vin was consumed by fear that was reflected in his voice. “There something more wrong? Is he…….dying?” Vin felt a pressure in his chest.

“Not quite that bad,” Nathan returned with, but that didn’t ease the fear for Vin. “Vin, you saw him. You know some of what happened. But there’s more. You should know.” Nathan paused, gathering his thoughts so that he won’t have to repeat himself. “The whole annul canal was ruptured. There has been healing. But I really don’t know how much. ……….Vin,” Nathan’s couldn’t control the little quiver in his voice. “His penis was choked off with wet rawhide.” Vin gasped, he understood the implication.

“Did the strips fully dry?” He looked at Nathan. The healer nodded sadly. “Hell the pain..,”

“All this has been tough on Ezra, and I haven’t even told him this. He may never be to get an erection again. I’m not sure how it’s working for nature’s call. And Vin, he may never want to have sex.” Nathan got up and looked out the window. “He don’t talk ‘bout it none. All we know is from his nightmares. He’s withdrawing into himself, and accepting less and less help from Chris or me.”

Nathan looked at Vin, taking a measure, “Do you love him cause of what he did for you, or do you just love him?”

Raw emotion played across the pale face of the bounty hunter. “Nathan, I can’t remember a time when I didn’t love him.” He was candid with his voice, his words and his emotions. 

Nathan nodded, “I thought as much, wanted to be sure. Remember some instances of times you felt that way before all this. He may take some convincing on this.”

“He’s not feeling too good about himself. He won’t even let me talk to him.” Vin told him quietly.

“He don’t let nobody talk to him.” Nathan knew it was more than his natural reticence of sharing his ailments.

“We jus haveta show him he is important.” Vin said with passion.

\------------

The two Bannister boys came into town and tried to rob Mrs. Potter. Chris and Buck got the older boy, Johnny, but Seth got away. 

Chris asked JD and Ezra to sit at the jail, making sure that Seth didn’t come back and try to free his brother. The others would ride out to the Bannister place, as Chris was expecting trouble from their pa.

Ezra said to Chris, “I am not healed enough to do the town any good.”

JD, taking in Chris’ expression, jumped in with, “Hell, Ezra, the way you shoot, you’d be a great back up blindfolded.”

“Thanks Ez, thanks JD,” Chris said as he mounted his horse. He turned and the four followed.

Nathan said to Chris as they left the town border, “Was that a good idea?” He was worried that Ezra would be scared.

“We got to make Ezra feel useful or we’re gonna lose him.” Chris stated baldly.

Vin nodded, concern etched on his face. Nathan knew he was right too.

They returned an hour past sundown and Chris went straight to the jail with his prisoner, while the others took care of the horses.

“So, you got him,” JD asked as the two entered.

“Yep.” Chris smiled at the two men, only one returning the smile.

Ezra asked timidly, “May I go now?”

Chris nodded and added, “Thanks Ezra.”

Ezra didn’t say anything else as he left. He didn’t remember the town being so dark. He hurried his steps, wanting the refuge of his room. He heard something behind him and quickened his pace. The hurried pace caused him to yelp in pain. Then he felt something touch him and he covered his face with his hands and pleaded, “Not again.”

Buck said, “Whoa pard, It’s just Buck.”

But Ezra couldn’t hear it. His mind was back at the attack and he backed himself into the wall with his hands over his face.

Buck yelled out, “VIN!” 

Then he tried to gently approach Ezra, but the gambler whimpered, “No, No, No.”

Vin ran at the urgency he heard in Buck’s voice. He saw Ezra cowering, unaware of the real situation. He looked at Buck as he got in front of him, “What happened?” Buck quickly explained, and Vin asked, “Help me Buck.” Buck nodded and let Vin take the lead. Vin put his arm around Ezra and whispered in his ear, “Vin’s safe, Ez. It’s okay, it’s okay.”

Vin’s voice reached inside to Ezra. The gambler understood that Vin was safe. The smell was a recognized comfort and he sagged into Vin’s embrace. The tracker looked at Buck and he helped hold up the gambler, and together they got him up to his room. 

Buck removed his boots as Vin laid him back, but kept him in his embrace. Vin looked earnestly at the ladies man, “Thanks Buck. Can you let Nathan know Ez is gonna need some sleeping tea.” Buck nodded, his eyes concerned as they have ever been.

Vin held Ezra in his arms, rocking him slightly as he pet his hair. His love evident in the gentleness of his touch.

Nathan let himself in easy with a cup of the sleeping draught. The healer came over and put his hand on Ezra’s head. “Doesn’t have a fever.” His eyes asked the question of what happened.

“We think that Bucked spooked him and it triggered a bad memory.”

“He don’t like being outside at night anymore.” Nathan shared his observation.

“He don’t use them five dollars words anymore, neither.” Vin said sadly.

“Yeah, I noticed that too,” Chris said as he entered the room. “Buck came and got me. He standing watch outside.”

“His injuries are healing real good. Or at least the ones you can see. He don’t eat much. He won’t tell me if he hurts, he’s even said I shouldn’t waste my teas on him.” Nathan was genuinely concerned for the conman. “Didn’t think I would ever say this, but I wish he’d separate some people from their money.”

“We have to get him to become more involved again, while we protect him from the night and his fears. But he has to fight the last battle on his own, Buck taught me that.” Chris said it in a way that let Buck know how much he had appreciated it.

They nodded, all wanting their friend back. Nathan left the tea on the night stand and he and Chris left together. Buck stuck his head in to check on Vin.

Vin answered the silent query, “I’m staying in here tonight.”

Buck took in the situation, “I’m on watch out here.”

Vin nodded his acceptance and gratitude to the compassionate man.

Vin gathered Ezra closer as he pulled the blanket up over them both. He kissed the forehead of the man in arms, inhaling his scent, then rained little kisses over his face. He gently rested his lips on the gambler’s, lightly tracing the lips with his tongue. The tracker felt a glimmer of a response and repeated his actions. He then placed his lips to the gambler’s throat and back to his lips. The lips responded with their own pressure and Vin opened up completely, seeking the interior treasure of Ezra’s mouth with his tongue. The response was more that he had ever hoped for.

Vin almost lost himself in his desire. He had loved the gambler for so long, and then to be finally able to physically express his love, getting a response had almost pushed Vin to the point of no return.

But on some level, Vin felt the shudder of fear and backed off, looking into Ezra’s sad green eyes. He saw the desire backed by fear, so he leaned forward and kissed each eye. “Sorry Ez, we’ll only go as far as you want, it’s just that I love you so much, I got lost in your touch. I loved how your skin felt to my fingers and lips.” Vin let Ezra’s head lay on his chest, and he rested his head on top, brushing the gambler’s cheek with his hand ‘till he fell asleep, nestled inside of Vin’s embrace.

Just before dawn, the nightmare struck. “No, no!” The scream had Buck checking in. He found Vin holding the terror stricken man as he woke from the visions he was forced to relive. 

Being held in warm, comforting arms was his undoing, he cried. All the pent up pain and fear burst forth, manifested in the sobs that racked the gambler’s body. Vin held him close, riding out the torrents of the emotional storm that the conman had tried to keep buried.

Buck’s compassionate eyes took in the death grip that Ezra had on Vin. The fear and horror that was released with the tears. He knew that Ezra had a real chance. Vin had a love strong enough to get them both through. Buck believed in love. He checked Vin’s blues and they let him know that the owner could handle it. 

He knew that Buck was there if he needed him. 

Vin continued holding his love even after the storm abated. Ezra struggled to free himself from the embrace. Vin whispered in his ear, “Ez, please. Let me keep holding you. I need this. I really do.” The stark honesty evident in his voice.

The gambler responded to the plea within the voice and relaxed. He laid his head on Vin’s chest and he hesitantly put his arms around Vin and held him back. And, for the first time in almost two months, he fell asleep with a degree of comfort.

As the suns first light touched the inside of the small room, Vin leaned over and kissed Ezra on the cheek. Emerald green eyes opened and looked questionably into the blue pools. Vin leaned in again and pressed his lips to the love of his heart.

The tiniest sigh escaped Ezra as he ever so gently returned the chaste kiss.

Vin leaned back after the kiss ended and let his eyes communicate all that he felt. With a special smile, the tracker lovingly touched the soft cheek and reluctantly stood up to leave. “Patrol,” was all he said as he left the room.

Though they never spoke of it aloud, but five of the next eight nights, the gambler spent in the tracker’s arms. When the night terrors refused to allow sleep.

\----------- 

Chris and JD sat across from each other at the desk in the sheriff’s office. They were suppose to be finishing up the month end paperwork for the Judge, but instead had a hand of poker going. They were trying to entice Ezra into playing. Ezra sat in the corner by the cells and declined to play at this time. He was there as Chris wanted him to get back into the routine of the peacekeepers. Riding was still quite painful and this was an alternative so as to keep him in the loop, and feel useful.

Josiah stomped into the office and demanded from Chris, “Just how long is a simple beating gonna keep Ezra off the job? He’s probably milking it anyway.”

For Ezra, this was only confirmed his thoughts that he was unable to contribute and was no longer worthy to be a peacekeeper. He got up, hiding any pain, tipped his hat at the trio and left the office.

JD was bull mad. “He didn’t take no beating, he was raped. And you just set back his getting involved.”

Josiah’s wide open stare looked at Chris for a denial, but the rage barely contained in those hazel eyes told Josiah otherwise. The magnitude of his blunder had him backing up to the door, “Ah hell.”

“Yea, that’s where Ezra been living the last coupla months.” JD hadn’t been told, he figured it out for himself. He figured Josiah shoulda been able to have done the same. He shook his head as he looked at the now remorseful man.

“I need to talk to him,” Josiah mumbled, mostly to himself.

JD was about to say something but Chris stayed him with his hand and they watched as the x-preacher slowly made his way out of the office.

“Shit!” JD smiled at Larabee’s only comment.

\-----------

Ezra brushed Chaucer, as he had done each day. He had tried sitting in his saddle and was dismayed at the amount of pain he still experienced. He needed to get out of town. It became more important to him each day. Today only proving that point to himself. 

Josiah stepped in quietly for a big man and watched Ezra brush his horse. “Ezra, I am truly sorry for my thoughtless words.” Josiah’s baritone voice sounded gruff. He was about to expand his apology but was halted by an uplifted hand.

“No need, Mr. Sanchez. I hope to remedy that situation in the very near future.” The conman turned away and exited the livery through the rear doors.

\------- 

Chris had relayed the jailhouse conversation to Vin, who had reacted less than pleased. Chris had noted to himself that he would hate to be on the receiving end of that look.

Vin knew in his gut that Ezra would need his comfort this night and let Buck know ahead of time.

When the gambler snuffed out his light, Vin entered the room. The momentary fear that the opening door created was dismissed swiftly as Ezra recognized Vin’s scent and gait. He said nothing as Vin lay beside him. Instead, Ezra took the comfort offered as he knew he would never get the chance again.

He rested his head on Vin’s chest, taking solace in the tracker’s heartbeat and refuge in his arms. Vin’s presence kept the night terrors away.

Vin had a dawn patrol and was out at first light. He was surprised however, to see Ezra slip inside the livery. Watching closely for Ezra’s exit, he did not see the three riders that slipped in from the back of town. His eyes were glued on the livery doors. He was further amazed by the way Ezra exited, atop Chaucer. 

The gambler, unaware of being watched, was without a mask, and all the pain that he felt was etched clearly on his face. He looked to the west and headed out of town.

\-----------

Vin slipped down from his high perch on top of the hotel. He had followed Ezra with his scope until he could no longer see him, just to see if he changed course. He saw Chris and Buck and waved at them, as he got their attention he was lassoed from behind and dragged down the street. He didn’t yell out as he put all his energies into controlling his body enough so as not to hit his head.

Shots were fired at the running figures of Chris and Buck as they tried to follow on foot. They ducked behind the water troughs as they watched the retreating figures head west out of town. As soon as the riders were out of range, Chris and Buck headed for the livery, where they found their horses already saddled and JD sitting his horse waiting for them. Larabee and Wilmington nodded their thanks to their partner as they jumped onto the backs of their mounts. The three headed out after Vin.

\---------

Ezra stopped at a watering hole for Chaucer. The boulders made it easier for him to dismount. He gingerly stepped on the rocks, grimacing in pain that sitting the saddle caused. He wiped the sweat off his forehead, his body protesting this amount of exertion. He stood, leaning against a big rock for support. He’d save the sitting for the saddle. He pulled his flask and took a sip. Not really decided where he was headed, only sure that he should leave. He heard the yelling and yipping to his left and stood atop a boulder to see the cause of the sound. If it was a bear, he would need to leave quickly.

To his horror, he saw Vin, his Vin, being dragged, bouncing all over the ground. To further his panic, he recognized the perpetrators. The very ones he had tried to protect Vin from. Without thought to his discomfort, Ezra mounted his horse and rode after Vin. He urged Chaucer to travel as fast as she could. The pain inflicted on his person wasn’t even registrating as the terror of thoughts that raced through his mind took precedence. He could not allow harm to come to Vin, no matter the cost.

As he rode up, the three men had Vin pinned down, he saw that one had a needle out, set to pierce Vin’s arm with it. Ezra drew his gun and shot the man holding the needle. “Let the man go.” Ezra’s voice hid none of the hate that was housed within him as he demanded Vin’s release.

The man that had Vin by the hair, laughed as he pulled him up to shield his body, “Well if it ain’t the fancy fuck. Come back for more?” He laughed again. 

Chris, Buck and JD rode up and flanked Ezra. “I will shoot you dead with joy, unhand that man.” Hell could freeze with the frost in those words. 

The man didn’t laugh this time as the three newcomers pointed their weapons at the two men. “Seems our only chance is to leave with this here valuable prize. We’ll let him go after we have him the same way we had Mr. Fancy dresser.”

Chris the peacekeeper disappeared and only the gunslinger was sitting in the saddle. His desire to kill the bastards was only tempered by the knowledge that Ezra needed to deal with them first. 

Buck and JD wore like expressions of hatred, and the desire to kill.

Ezra looked at the two men and knew they had no intention of letting Vin live, so he jumped to the ground, never noting the pain at such a move. He approached the one that was not holding Vin. He hoped that Chris would take the other man out upon his distraction. 

Vin was being used as a shield and a clear shot wasn’t yet possible. The third man knew that they were in a no-win situation. He would rather go out causing further pain, so he turned to shoot Vin, Ezra leapt with everything in him and intercepted the bullet intended for Vin and fell noiselessly to the ground.

Buck shot the shooter and Chris Larabee, gunslinger took him out the other man before he could finish a breath.

Vin got to his feet slowly, eyes on Ezra. He approached the three men gathered around the fallen body, only aware of one. He hurt, his body aching and bleeding, but his solitary desire was to reach the one who had saved him yet again. He couldn’t be dead. He fell beside him looking for any sign of life. Blood was leaking out of his chest, but it still moved up and down. He pressed his hands over the wound. “Live, Ezra, live.”

Chris yelled back at JD, “Get Nathan.” JD jumped up to the saddle without aid of the stirrup and charged away.

Buck stated, “Don’t think we can wait for Nathan to get here. We need to carry him.” Vin looked up at Buck and Buck answered the silent entreaty, “I can hold him steady. You ride beside, so’s he can hear you voice.” They did as Buck suggested. Chris lifted the bleeding man up to Buck’s waiting arms. Chris took the reins as Vin kept Chaucer beside Buck.

They met up with Nathan close to town and Nathan told them to just finish up that way. Ezra had a better chance if he could be operated on in Nathan’s place. Chris and Buck carried him up and Nathan didn’t even bother to try to keep Vin away.

Nathan operated on Ezra, getting the bullet out. Chris helped Nathan as Vin kept hold of Ezra’s hand. Somehow he believed that he could keep Ezra here as long as he held on. 

Nathan sewed up the wound and said aloud, “Now, it’s up to him, how hard he wants to fight. Don’t know how strong he is though, he sure has lost lots of weight.”

Chris went out to let the others know as Nathan looked to Vin. “Is it gonna be useless to suggest you take a break from here?”

“I gotta let him know that he’s needed here and to fight.” Vin told him, never taking his eyes off the supine figure. Nathan nodded and patted his shoulder before he too left for awhile. 

Vin stroked the slender fingers, thinking of the wasted time that they could have been together, but praying for chance that they will have more time together. Nathan came and left, checking on his patient. He let Vin know that the ether would be wearing off real soon. Vin began talking to Ezra, hoping he could hear. “Fight, dammit, fight.”

Ezra resented the intrusion into the quiet. The dark cocoon felt safe, now an urgent voice was interrupting his secure heaven. But the voice was one he knew, one that was important. He could listen. He strained and he could make out the words. “I need you to fight. Ez, you’re in my blood. I’m not making it without you, so all you went through will have been for nothing if you die. Life is only livable with you in it. I love you Ez. Fight……fight hard.” The voice seemed kind of lost at the end there, but Ezra knew that voice and he loved the man connected to it. And, it seemed as though he had to go back to the painful world to be with him. He had done so much to keep him safe, he figured that he had to finish the job, he needed to finish the job. He needed Vin.

Vin noticed that Ezra’s breathing changed, and he wiped his forehead with a wet cloth, “Come on, Ezra, it’s time to get up.”

“It’s hardly time for a patrol.” A raspy voice answered.

Vin gave a laugh, “No, not yet. Just real glad you’re back.” His voice lowered, Ezra loved the tracker’s low voice. “I need ya here, don’t wanna lose you, okay?”

“Yeah, Vin. I staying, I need you too.” Ezra opened his eyes and looked into eyes that loved him, no matter what. 

\------------ 

**Two Months Later**

Ezra and Vin rode in from Ezra’s first rounds back on full duty. Their Ezra had returned gradually each day, the man himself fighting most of his battles, but the other six were there to back him up. Each night he had his anchor. Each night Vin was happy just to have his heart in his arms.

Ezra surprised Vin as he followed him into his room. The gambler made eye contact with his tracker as he gently lifted his hat off. Next he gently pulled his buckskin jacket off and laid it on the chair. Vin smiled as the emerald greens sparkled, he wanted to grab Ez and spin him around, but this was his dance, and Vin let him lead. 

Ezra unbuttoned the dusty shirt and untied the bandanna, laying them on the chair also. He poured the warm water he had collected on the way up and dipped a cloth into it. He wiped it across Vin’s back and neck, rinsing it and continued across his chest. As he encountered the first protrusion, he stopped and traced it with his finger. Vin couldn’t help himself, he moaned. The gambler took a chance and nibbled Vin’s throat just below his adam’s apple. Against his lips he felt a vibration as Vin purred his joy. All of Ezra’s fears melted away at the sound of contentment. He trailed his tongue down to the nipples and sucked them, each getting its own turn. He then retraced his path and stopped just short of Vin’s lips. As he drew back to look at his love, Vin moaned, “No.”

Vin opened his eyes and became, trapped in the very gaze of emerald gems, that would allow access to a soul so tender and kind, Vin knew he had come home. Ezra smiled as he too got lost in the azure pools that showed their love so honestly. He pressed his lips to Vin’s and instantly became lost in sensations he had forgotten. Vin returned the kiss with equal fervor. 

Ezra explored the inside of Vin’s mouth as he unfastened his pants, letting them fall to the floor. He cupped the bulge that strained against the tracker’s underwear and Vin growled. Ezra led him to the bed and pushed him backward. He landed on top and couldn’t help rubbing himself against him. 

Vin brought his hands up and began unbuttoning Ez’s shirt and met no resistance. He quickly worked the buttons of the pants also. Then they both removed each other’s underwear and reveled in the sensuous feel of their bodies together. Ezra began a slow assault and had Vin begging for relief. He reached for the salve and handed it to his lover. 

Vin stopped and looked at Ezra, puzzled. He never expected this after his experience. Ezra looked lovingly at Vin, “You can erase every bad memory.” Vin took the jar and the gift. Kissing him hard on the lips, he dipped his finger in the salve and fingered the now healed opening. Ezra tensed a bit, then relaxed as Vin continued to kiss him. Vin slowly worked the one finger, then two and three, ‘til he was sure that Ezra was ready. He flipped Ezra over, he wanted his green eyed siren to see who he was joining with, erasing the bad and replacing with the new. The tracker placed his shaft into the opening and planned to move slowly, but Ezra had a different idea and moved himself, encasing Vin within. The gentle strokes became more forceful as both lovers increased their intensity of passion. Vin grabbed Ezra’s fully engorged shaft and match stroke for stroke. Ezra felt the tingle signaling his orgasm and his creamy fluids coated Vin’s hand. At Ezra’s successful release Vin exploded within Ezra and collapsed on top of him. Ezra thought it was the greatest feeling, having Vin lying on top of him, satisfied.

They shifted positions and Vin had Ezra within the warmth of his embrace, Vin was content, “You’re my heart.”

Ezra snuggled even closer to Vin, “And you’re mine.” Ezra sighed with joy, he was home.

fini


End file.
